The following are all birth stories of "Big Babies" born easily at home

 

11lb 3oz Rafferty's Birth by Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

 

Rafferty was born at home, using a birthing pool and HypnoBirthing for pain relief. in January 2005, he weighed

11lb 3oz.

 

"When we found out we were expecting for the third time we decided we really wanted a natural homebirth, but

as expected, we had hurdles from day one as I was classed as high risk because of my history of "big babies"

(9lb 12oz and 10lbs). At my first consultant appointment he scrawled all over my notes in red pen with

"homebirth not advised" and told me that the safest option would be an early induction as my baby was "exceptionally large" and I, at 5 feet 1 inch, was not, however I decided after much research to continue with

 my plans and decline the offer of induction.

 

At my 36 week appointment (baby estimated to weigh 9lbs already) they told me that the baby was transverse

and too big to turn and that I would need a C-Section, but by 37wks, and every trick in the book, we managed

to get him cephalic. After a scary time with high blood pressure and some hospital monitoring I decided this

time not to attempt any form of self induction; for some reason I felt it wouldn't be safe. The baby was posterior

right up until last week, when he finally shifted to LOA and then engaged. On Sunday, one day after my due

date, Jan 8th, I lost my plug and on Monday morning started having mild contractions every now and again,

and had lots of watery, bloody show. The contractions kept petering out though, every time the boys came

near me, and they stopped totally that night.

 

On Tuesday the same thing happened again. I took myself off for some reflexology that evening, which gave me

the best night's sleep I'd had in ages. I had a full night's sleep and woke to nothing in the morning on Weds the

12th. Ian decided to go into work late so I could have some rest in bed. By the time Trisha came on the TV I

realised the contractions were every 5 mins and had been going for 2 hrs - the best run yet - so wondered if

things might finally happen. I went downstairs and shut myself away in our study which we'd set up as the

birthing room with the pool, lots of candles, beanbags and duvets. I drew the curtains, burnt some oils and lit

some candles and shut the door on the boys so I couldn't hear them. By about 10:30 I decided that things felt

pretty laboury so we called our friend to take Seb and Flynn for the day and phoned for a midwife. At about

11:30 the midwife arrived.

 

Lunchtime'ish I put my TENs on and rocked around on my ball watching various crappy TV programmes. I got

into my birth pool at about 3pm which was bliss, I was so relaxed. I'd used the pool every night for a fortnight

before for my SPD pains, so felt really at home in it and knew how I was most comfortable. I also added some lovely oils of lavender and Neroli which I'd been using every night. By about 3:30 the contractions were starting

to bite and the midwives were having to really help me keep calm and breathe through them. I felt a pop and a

gush and told the midwives that either my waters had gone or I'd lost all control and had a giant pee in the pool

 

The MW informed me that it was probably waters and I felt very proud of myself that for the first time in 3 births

I'd avoided the dreaded amni-hook.

 

At around 3:45pm my back became really uncomfortable, The midwives clearly thought things were imminent

at this point as they donned their fetching plastic aprons and farmers' elbow-length gloves. At around 4pm I

felt a huge pop and felt something drop down out of me and was utterly convinced I'd had a serious uterine

prolapse. I quickly realised this wasn't the case and braced myself on the side of the pool. Next I knew, the 

midwife told me the head was born and to get on all fours and really work to get the shoulders out. One

contraction later, at 16:13 the baby landed on the pool floor. I scooped him up and gave him a huge cuddle in

shock that it had been so easy!

 

A short while after the pool started getting bloody so we got out and sat on a duvet on the floor. The cord

stopped pulsating so Ian cut it and was the second person to hold our little boy. I opted to have a syntometrine injection by this point as the placenta wasn't appearing and I wanted it gone. A few minutes after the jab it was

out, in its hugeness. Rafferty was weighed; we all thought he was in the mid 9lb range so were surprised when

he tipped the scales at 11lb 3oz. 

 

By 11pm we were all in bed, after the best tasting takeaway curry I'd had in ages.  "

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11lb 1oz Violet's Birth by Sarah Ockwell-Smith.

 

Violet was born at home, using a birthing pool and HypnoBirthing for pain relief. in April 2007, she weighed 11lb

 

"When I found out I was pregnant with my fourth baby (that's the thing about good births, they make you

incredibly broody!) I planned exactly the same as the last time. Predictably I was assessed as high risk again

due to a history of big babies (9lb 12oz, 10lbs and 11lb 3oz) but this time I was determine that nobody was going

to try and talk me out of my lovely natural homebirth, so I refused to be under the care of a consultant or set foot inside a hospital aside from my dating and anomaly scan (so I refused all growth scans and related consultant "discussions" and the GTT test).

 

Six days after my babys guesstimated due date, after a day spent doing some pretty heavy gardening, I had a feeling early in the evening that things were imminent as I was feeling very moody (just like PMT) which is always

a clear sign of impending labour for me. It was the last day of the school holidays and I really didn't want to have

to do the school run the next day with my 3 older children at 41weeks pregnant!  Just after 10pm I began to really hope that the regular Braxton hicks I was feeling would turn into labour, just as I had done every evening over the past fortnight! I really wanted to labour and birth at night as we had no childcare for our three older children (2, 3

and 4years old) and having had them with me for some time at my previous homebirth, I wasn't keen to have them around me again.

 

At around 11:30pm my Braxton hicks seemed to be a bit more regular, so ever hopeful, I Sent Ian (my husband)

to bed as he was annoying me with his small talk and the fact that he kept leaving all the house lights on! I also wanted him to get some sleep "just in case"

 

Around 11:45pm I had two big and tight (but totally painless) surges (HypnoBirthing-speak for contractions)

about five minutes apart and had a definite feeling that "this is it", so I called Ian back downstairs (he wasn't

best pleased after just getting into bed!) and asked him to fill the birth pool with warm water as I was around

70% sure I was in labour. Around 12:15am I was around 80% sure I was in labour, but as everything was still

very, very mild and I wasn't having to do anything special to "get through it" (I was actually sitting on my birthing

ball watching a Graham Norton re-run!) I dithered for a bit about phoning for a midwife. My surges seemed to be every 3minutes apart and quite long and regular but they were incredibly mild (just tightenings like Braxton

hicks) and I didn't want to look a fool if it was all a false alarm and everything stopped, or worse, we ended up

with a midwife sitting in our living room observing me for the next 8hrs. On the other hand though, I didn't want

to panic Ian by not having a midwife present at the birth (although I would have quite liked it! The idea of an unassisted birth has always slightly appealed to me) so I asked Ian to call the hospital to tell them I thought I

was in labour and wanted a midwife to come out. A midwife called us back five minutes later to say she'd be

leaving in ten minutes and would be with us 10 minutes or so after that.

 

At 12:30am I was left in no doubt I was in labour as the intensity suddenly really picked up and my surges

were coming thick and fast every two minutes. I was still coping really well with just my "birth breathing" rocking

on my birth ball, but the pool was really calling to my big achy pregnant body so I got in, despite the midwife

not having arrived, and put my CD of HypnoBirthing music on. I did have a brief fleeting moment of worry that I

had four or five more hours to get through (as per previous births or around 5 hours after I realised I was in

labour) and wondered why I was shivering so violently! In hindsight it was obvious the birth was imminent but I

just couldn't believe that it was, as fifteen minutes previously I wasn't even sure I was in labour!

 

At 12:45am I started mooing loudly (I *still* hadn't clicked that the baby was about to arrive, despite my

obvious second stage noises!) and much to Ian's relief the doorbell sounded and the midwife arrived; she

quickly assessed the situation and asked me if my waters had broken (they hadn't). The midwife and Ian

then started to sort her equipment out, with the midwife still in her coat. Still completely unaware of how

imminent the birth was, I decided I absolutely couldn't do this for another 4hrs and in my mind decided to

ask for the gas and air to be brought in for me to try, even though the only time I've ever had it it made me

vomit copiously (though apparently I didn't actually manage to vocalise this thought anyway).

 

At 12:50am: my waters broke, closely followed by the whole of my baby's head (complete with a hand on it

 – amazingly though I required no stitches!) and a loop of umbilical cord. I manage to loudly chant the word

 "head" over repeatedly like a complete imbecile whilst Ian looked stunned and asked me if I was sure

(nobody could see anything under the water as Ian added so much milk to disperse the aromatherapy oils

meaning the pool water was an opaque murky white and nobody could find the torch either). I reached down

at this point and felt a big hard peachy soft wrinkly head between my legs and gently held and stroked my daughter's head until the next surge came.

 

At 12:54am I vaguely recalled that it would be best to get on all fours in order to get the body out (being on

all fours gives them the most room to get out easily) but instead found I was rooted to the spot in a very

uncomfortable squat. I very briefly panicked about the shoulders coming out in that position but no sooner

had I started to worry I was immediately reassured as I feel the delicious feeling of the whole of the baby's

body slithering out and baby Violet Rosalynde was born into my own waiting hands on April 16th 2007,

weighing 11lbs 1oz.

 

I lifted my new baby up and freaked out at the amount of vernix on her (I've never had a baby with any

vernix before – weird stuff isn't it?), and like holding a wet bar of slippery soap, I promptly dropped the whole

of the slimy little body back in water and the midwife fished her out for me. At his moment I had a bizarre vision

of a scene from "Pretty Woman" with Julia Roberts trying to eat Oysters saying "slippy little buggers" and wet

myself (literally, pelvic floor having suffered a bit – thankfully still in the pool!) laughing. The midwife and Ian obviously not being in on my own private joke didn't think it very funny I was laughing at my newly-born

drowning daughter. I tried to hold her for next 10 mins but really couldn't get to grips with vernix and slippiness

in the water and since the cord had long since stopped pulsating Ian cut it (eventually – scissors way too

blunt – yack!) and somebody with much safer hands took the baby off me so I could climb out and gave her

back when we were safely on the sofa out of drowning danger! Once the placenta was safely delivered,

everything was packed away and the midwife went home. Our eldest son woke excited to meet his new

little sister and the four of us tucked ourselves up in our own comfy bed, just as we do any other night - bliss!"

 

 

 

10lb 7oz Arthur's Birth By Philippa Sidle

I had the luxury of hiring an independent midwife and so was able to steer clear without effort of the entire medicalised childbirth establishment. This was my second baby, after a gap of nine years, at the age of 35.

I didn't have any scans or tests or anything during pregnancy, as I don't think they're appropriate unless

there's an indication of some kind of medical problem, so I had no idea that this would be a big baby!

The baby did however go about two weeks over dates, which I'm assuming accounted for his size rather

than anything else. I was getting to the fed-up stage (again, and I only just realise this now that I'm reading

the home birth group, how lucky I was, I had no doctors or community midwives breathing down my neck

about 'dates') and did a bit of a homeopathic encouragement regime, even though I'm afraid I don't really

believe in homeopathy - the whole curry, pineapple and essential oil foot massage rigmarole one Friday night!

This did the trick by the next day, and I went into labour by the evening.

 

At a distance now of seven years I can't recall all the details of timing, but I was certainly in established

labour by bedtime, and had plenty of time overnight in the pool which we set up in the living room.

Contractions progressed along in the normal manner for a few hours while my husband kept the pool

nice and topped up with warm water, and the midwife gave me - as far as I can remember - a single

internal examination while I was in the pool, which she reckoned meant I was nearly there. By about

five in the morning, I pushed the baby out on my knees in the pool with a few good shoves. I do

remember it seemed a bit of an effort and when he emerged, it was obvious why - he weighed in at

10lbs 7ozs! 

 

All was extremely well and after a quick third stage we all went upstairs to bed. I had a tiny tear which

the midwives reckoned didn't need any attention, so that was fine, and it didn't seem very surprising in

the circumstances! (Two years later when my smaller daughter was born, I didn't have any kind of tear.)

I think it healed pretty quickly. The main drawback of having an enourmous baby was that he didn't suit

the dainty little pretty baby costume I'd bought for him in advance, and he was very very hungry -

he wasn't terribly happy with this colostrum nonsense, and didn't settle down until my proper milk

came in!

 

The funny thing is that seven years later, he's a tiny little shrimp and the puniest looking boy in his class,

bless him. I still enjoy telling people that I had a ten and a half pound baby at home without drugs or

intervention - it really challenges many people's expectations and assumptions about childbirth. Looking

back, I think I was incredibly lucky to be at home, and not to have been scanned and prodded prior to the

event. I wonder if we would both have been at risk of possibly injurious intervention.

 

 

 

11lb Jacob's Birth - By Emma Dunn

A little background....
I had my first son at home in June 03, it was a perfect straightforward homebirth and he was 8lb. When

I was pregnant for the 2nd time there was no reason to believe I was carrying a particularly big baby,

my midwife estimated he would be about 8 - 9lb. I measured normally throughout the pregnancy.

 

I had minor contractions for about 10 days prior to Jacobs due date, getting gradually stronger but

always disappearing by bedtime. I had stronger contractions all day the day after his due date which

were about 8 min apart – but not strong enough to worry me too much. I spent the afternoon at my

mum and dads, and this time the contractions didn't go away in the evening. I went to bed at about

11.30 still having mild contractions, and was woken by a 'proper' one at 12.30. Things stepped up a gear

then, with painful contractions coming every 5 min or so and Ian called the hospital for a midwife at about

1.10am, and my mum came round straight away to be on hand should Joseph wake up (he was 23mths).

 

Two midwives (Sue and Debbie) arrived at about 2am and Sue examined me – I was 5cm dilated with

bulging waters. I continued pacing the living room during contractions for a few hours, but they seemed

to go off slightly in intensity and spaced out a bit. I was examined again just before 6am and was 8cm

dilated but baby was slightly higher than he had been before. We discussed how long we would carry

on before considering transferring in to hospital, and decided that Sue would break my waters and we'd

give it an hour to see how things progressed. If we weren't getting anywhere by then we would think about transferring. My waters were broken at 6am, and while Sue was on the phone to the hospital to tell them

how I was doing at 6.15am Jacob suddenly moved down and started to make is way towards the exit! I

had an uncontrollable urge to push, and pushed and screamed my head off for 8 min until he was born. He

gave me a kick in the ribs as his head crowned! I had the syntometrine injection and my mum cut the cord

(my husband is far to squeamish). I had 2 stitches, and had only used a bit of gas & air between 5.45 and

 6.15.

 

His apgar scores were 8 and 9, and he weighed 11lb. The midwives couldn't believe he was so big, and

we had to check the scales were working by weighing a bag of flour! They were accurate and he was

indeed 11lb. Length of labour as written in my notes was 5hr 45min.

 

He was a 'dusky' colour all over which Sue was a little concerned about, and as it didn't improve in an hour

she wanted us to get the opinion of a paediatrician, so we transferred into hospital in an ambulance. I

wasn't particularly chuffed at this but of course wanted him to be checked out as the midwife was

concerned. Everything went rapidly downhill from there – once we arrived at the hospital Jacob was put

on oxygen and a drip in an incubator and there were concerns he may have a problem with his heart or

lungs, or an infection of some sort. He was started on antibiotics and was prodded and poked and

x-rayed and there was talk of sending him to Alder Hey for more investigations. I didn't get another

cuddle until about 12 hours later when I fed him with the oxygen thingy draped over my shoulder.

 

He spent 24hrs in the incubator but we didn't end up at Alder Hey and thankfully his heart and lungs

were fine. As it was a bank holiday weekend, his blood tests took longer to come back but were clear,

however it was decided to keep him on the antibiotics for a week. We spent the next 6 days on the

postnatal ward (thankfully in a side room of our own) while he had IV antibiotics, which we had to go

up to the scbu for every 8hrs. After having 7 cannulars inserted over 6 days, he just didn't have any

veins left for another so the antibiotics were stopped and we were allowed home.

 

Nothing was ever found to be wrong with him, it was eventually decided that it was just a touch of

shock after being born quickly after being so squished up because of his size.

 

His first week wasn't so great, but the birth was fantastic and I felt (and still feel) on top of the world

for achieving it.

 

 

10lb 1oz Sebastian's Birth By Kat Pond

 

 

I had been planning a homebirth throughout this pregnancy and it was the first thing I said to every health professional I came in contact with just to make sure there was no misunderstanding! I wanted to have

a homebirth because my other two deliveries were in hospital and on both occasions, there was a lot of

intervention. It’s not that I disliked the hospital – I found the staff very nice and accommodating – I just

wanted to experience what an active labour and natural delivery felt like in the comfort of my own home.

Not to mention the practicality of having two children to look after already, it seemed to make sense

being at home. My worst fear was labouring at home and then having to transfer during the labour or

post-birth.

 

When I went past my due date of Thursday 20th March 2008, I sunk into a terrible melancholy. Both

my other two babies had been born on their due dates with labours starting well before that so I was

feeling really fed up. I was also very frustrated by the regular Braxton Hicks contractions which were

actually quite painful. They came every night about ten minutes apart and every time I went to bed,

I woke up in the morning and then nothing had happened. I tried every trick in the book to get labour

started including hot curry, raspberry leaf tea and a long walk in the woods but nothing happened. On

Monday 24th March, I was hiding in bed as I couldn’t face getting up, having what I thought was

regular Braxton Hicks contractions (again) – it was only afterwards that I realised they were pre-labour

contractions. I didn’t have any of the pre-labour signs that I had with the other two. I ignored these

‘practise’ contractions for most of the day until about 3pm when I started to think that maybe

something was going to happen.

 

At this point, we decided to give the labour ward a call as instructed just to feel out the situation.

The receptionist took my details and said she would get in touch with the on-duty midwife who would

call me back. Julie called me back very quickly and we talked about my all day possible contractions.

She said she would come out and see me and check me and the baby over. When the two midwives

arrived, they checked baby’s heartbeat and my blood pressure etc and were happy that everything was

okay and was glad I called them out so they could see where I lived and work out where to park etc for

later on. I allowed one of the midwives to examine me internally but asked not to tell me how dilated I

was. When I was in labour with DD they told me I was only 3cm dilated and had at least another 7 hours

to go, however I delivered within 20 minutes after having begged for an epidural. It totally put me off and

made me realise that if that midwife had not told me about the timescale I would never have had the epidural.

So this time I didn’t want to know so would not be disappointed! It was funny watching the midwives

whispering to each other. I realise now that I was in labour at the time although then I didn’t know it.

One homebirth issue that arose unexpectedly was the midwife realising my history of Group B Strep

(GBS) with DD. She was quite panicked by it even though I had had a negative swab for GBS in this

pregnancy. I explained to her that I had done my research and made an informed decision based on

the facts I knew and she seemed to be okay with that.

 

After the midwives had left, I used a birth ball to relax and get comfortable between contractions. I

had something to eat and tried to get on with normal tasks. We put the kids to bed and tried to

concentrate on what was to come. One of the midwives from earlier came back to visit me at the end

of her shift to check baby and me over. We agreed that I would call back the labour ward when my

contractions were stronger lasting up to 60 seconds and regularly 5 minutes apart. DH and I timed

the contractions and when they were really regular and long and getting increasingly more painful we

rang the labour ward again who called out the midwife for me. I tried the TENS machine but this did

nothing for me and I took it off straight away. I did however manage to get a warm bath which was nice

and reminded me why I had wanted to labour at home.

 

This time Julie arrived about 9.45pm with all her equipment and I actually began to get quite excited.

She brought some gas and air canisters which I used straight away. We listened to some relaxing birth

music and I used what I had learned from the Hypnotherapy to breathe through each contraction. It

really helped and I’m convinced I wouldn’t have lasted as long as I did at home without the help of this

pain relief. I had one contraction where I forgot to do my relaxation technique and I literally jumped

5 feet off the sofa! Another midwife Suzie arrived about 11pm and it started to get quite cramped in

my living room. She examined me but not realising that I didn’t want to know ‘the results’ she inadvertently

told me that I was about 7cm dilated. However at this point it was promising news and I knew that my

baby was going to be born soon.

 

We had laid down an old PVC tablecloth and disposable waterproof mats on the carpet. We also set up

a borrowed birthing chair which I used to lean on during contractions. For the next few hours I walked

around, changed positions, did my breathing, used the gas and air and bounced on my ball. DH made

cups of tea and everything was going fine. However it became quite apparent that the contractions

were getting increasingly painful and I was struggling to cope with the pain. My chosen methods of pain

relief were doing nothing to help now and I started to panic a bit. I started to scream loudly during

contractions no longer worrying about what the neighbours might think! The midwives had to try and

calm me down and get me to breathe properly. Every time DH tried to make tea I would shout for him

to get back. I felt a bit lost without his supporting touch. Incidentally the children were sleeping through

all this upstairs. Having had epidurals with the other two I had no idea how excruciatingly painful labour

could be. It was a real shock to me and not what I was expecting at all. I naively thought that labouring

at home would be ‘easy’. At this point I was tired, frustrated and in agony with no light at the end of the

tunnel.

 

By about 2am, everyone was getting desperate. I give huge appreciation and admiration to my attending

midwives for sticking it through (even if it is their job) as they had no escape. I actually felt a bit sorry

for them to be honest. Eventually Julie very tentatively suggested that if things didn’t start to happen soon,

it might be time to consider calling an ambulance and transferring. I think this really spurred me on and I

asked if I could just have a few more minutes at home to see what happens. They suggested I try lying

on the floor on my side which was an incredibly painful position but it must have done the job because

immediately the contractions came one on top of the other and suddenly I felt the urge to push. Unfortunately

I was not in a good position lying on my back and was very uncomfortable but nature had taken its course

and the baby was going to come out. The midwives were clearly concerned and when it became apparent

that baby had his arm stuck by his head, there was a tense moment. They kept asking me to extend my

legs and I had no idea what this meant! Within minutes, baby was delivered onto me. I couldn’t even see

because I was stuck on my back and it was dark. I discovered what sex the baby was by feeling down

between his legs! I had wanted to deliver on all fours and catch the baby myself but although this didn’t

happen, I’m just happy he was delivered safely.

The third stage was a bit of a blur. It was so hectic that I forgot to say I didn’t want the umbilical cord cut until

after it had stopped pulsating so the midwives just got on with it and DH cut the cord. The midwife

recommended I have the injection to speed the delivery of the placenta since I was so exhausted and

because of this I agreed – it had been a long night. DH had the fun job of having to shine a torch into

my nether regions so the midwife could examine me; I don’t think he enjoyed being at the business end

of it.

 

I desperately wanted to sit up but found it really difficult to move. Eventually they got me up onto the sofa

so I could examine Sebastian and give him his first feed. The midwives were brilliant at clearing up

everything and they had a new surge of energy – cue more tea and cake! I didn’t need any stitches and

of course there was no further mention of transferring as mother and baby were well. They weighed him

(4.6kg) and did a few checks then stayed a bit longer to do paper work and check we were okay. I think

they left at about 4am after which DH and I called the relatives with the good news and went to bed.

The kids had slept all through this event and I knew they were going to be up in a couple of hours so

didn’t get much sleep. The best bit of the homebirth experience was the kids coming into our bedroom

and being introduced to Sebastian. They were so cool about it and took it in their stride and accepted

him into the family as if he’d always been there. I don’t think that would have happened if I’d be in hospital.

It was also lovely having my first bath in the comfort of my own home and having happy guests come to

visit and help out without the restrictions of visiting times and keeping the noise down etc.

 

In summary, having a homebirth was not the experience I thought it would be. It was really unglamorous,

painful and hard work and I didn’t particularly feel empowered or at one with the universe or anything fluffy

like that. However, I’m quite sure that had I have been in hospital the events would have unfolded very

differently probably with intervention, epidural and quite possibly c-section so I do feel incredibly proud

of myself that I did stick it through at home and pleased at how it turned out. I would still choose to have

a homebirth again and to recommend homebirth to others. I gave birth to a 10lbs 1oz baby with a hand up

his head without pain relief – I think that deserves a pat on the back!

 

Told by Kat Pond (June 2008)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10lb 10oz Irina's Birth By Heather Peet (Heather is from the USA)

 

I went about my day as gingerly as I could. I got up with the kids and ate breakfast. The contractions

still coming every ten minutes, but not intensifying. I took a luxurious 2 hour nap then had a long, hot

steamy shower. I blew out my hair. I did my make up. I put on my favorite maternity blouse. I was all

dressed for the occasion. I emailed, surfed, posted, and googled. I watched TV and updated my iPod.

Still contracting every ten minutes.

 

I called Tammi, my midwife, to let her know that things were happening... She said it all sounded

promising, that I should keep her posted. She reminded me that she is from upstate New York and

that snow and ice don't scare her. No matter the weather, she would be there when I needed her.

 

As I figured, the kids were cooped up all day and would be for the next few as well. I had gotten

some craft stuff together to give them something to do. We had a very large, poster sized piece of

paper and some paints. I sat Reilly Kate on one side of the paper and Roman on the other and told

them to paint a welcome sign for the baby. Roman painted an octopus in the sky and Reilly painted

a sky on the bottom. It turned out beautifully and after it dried a bit, I hung on the wall in the family

room so it would be one of the first things our baby saw when she did come out. I love it so much

that two months later it still hangs on our family room wall.

 

Mike called around 3 o'clock to say that he'd be gone about two more hours. I had actually planned

on him being home hours before, closer to 1pm. So when he said two more hours, I choked on my

shock, tears welling in my eyes. I was scared. The snow and ice had started up pretty heavily and

it wasn't going to stop. In fact, the forecast was that this night, this very night that my baby appeared

to be arriving, was going to be the worst winter storm of the season. .

 

I decided to lie down on the couch, thinking that perhaps if I laid down for a while the contractions

would cease. Mike walked in at 4:30 with a huge armload of firewood and a heart of optimism despite

a very long, stressful workday that didn't end as confidently as he had thought it should. He set to work

straight away to building a fire and readying the house for the arrival of our newest family member.

It was a bone chilling cold outside and it was starting to leak through into our house. In fact, I had

changed from my favorite maternity blouse into the enormous, hand knit Irish wool sweater that Mike's

mom had made him. I was that chilled. Mike built up a roaring fire (the best he'd done in his rookie year

of fire building) and piled the rest of the wood nearby so he could keep it going all night.

 

I made a few more phone calls to friends and family, to let them know tonight was the night. I noticed

that while on the phone, my contractions weren't quite as strong or frequent. It made me worry that

perhaps this was false labor yet again. I decided to quit the phone and use the computer instead and

sit on my birthing ball. I really, really did not want to see these contractions peter out. I was ready for

the baby and I felt she too was ready.

 

Everyone was insistent that I call my midwife again. My mom had been keeping track of my

contractions and they were coming a little more frequently, between 5 and 7 minutes apart. I called

Tammi up and gave her an update.

 

"Let me know when they get closer together," she said. She was going to call The Apprentice and

they'd come whenever I felt I was ready. The problem, as I saw it, was that I had no clue when I should

call her. I didn't know when I'd be ready. My first birth was a medically managed, albeit midwife attended,

pitocin induced labor. I didn't have to know when I was ready. I was told when I was ready. My second

labor was more natural, although labor was encouraged by daily membrane stripping. Once I thought I

was in labor, I was repeatedly told that it couldn't be active labor since my contractions weren't coming

regularly, I could talk through them, and my uterus just didn't feel hard enough during them. Thankfully,

Pat, my doula, is also a nurse and I talked her into checking me. She then told me I was not only ready,

but that birth was close at hand. Hence, although this was my third baby, this was my first all natural

labor and I had nothing and no one to tell me when I would be ready. It was all on me.

 

All I could do was tell Tammi that I would keep her abreast of my progress. We had to laugh at the

weather which had gotten so bad I could hear the ice whipping against the windows. The storm was

shaping up to be a real doozy. Mike got the kids ready for bed and we talked to them about the baby

coming. I asked them should they be sleeping when it was time for the baby to come out, if they

wanted us to wake them. Reilly Kate said yes. Roman said no. But they were both so excited we

told them that we'd wake them both. Reilly Kate didn't even want to go to sleep. She wanted to stay

up and help me. Even after Mike had tucked them in and said night prayers with them, Reilly Kate

stole downstairs for one last kiss to my belly. "I'll see you sometime tonight, baby," she said with

her head resting on my big bump.

 

With the kids ensconced in their beds, Mike and I settled on the couch for some mindless Tuesday

night prime time with my parents. My mom was still marking down my contraction times and the pain

was starting to get bad enough that I really had to focus. Her recording the time was starting to grate

on my nerves for some reason. When you're in pain, the weirdest things just bug you. Plus, I was starting

to get tired and despite the roaring fire and the thick Irish sweater, I was chilled. I felt feverish, which

was not a good thing.

 

I was getting agitated from it all. Mike suggested we go upstairs and lie down on our big, king sized bed.

Just the two of us. A rare occasion for we usually have at least one kid and a dog in there with us.

It sounded relaxing. So despite my feeling somewhat rude at just up and leaving my parents sitting in

the living room alone with the TV, I lumbered my way up the stairs and snuggled into spooning with

my hubby.

 

Mike wanted to call Tammi while I labored in the shower. He felt ready for her to come. As I walked

into the shower, he was picking up the phone. "Don't tell her to come right away. I'm not that close. I

could be at this all night long," I told him. Right after I slipped into the steamy world of my diminutive

shower, my uterus kicked it up a notch. The contractions started coming closer together, with each

and every one hitting hard. Before, I'd get a hard one and then three easy ones. Or two hard ones in

a row, with a string of easy ones after that. When I say easy, I mean so easy that at times I couldn't

tell I was having them -- like when I was talking on the phone I'd hardly notice them. But once I was

in that shower, they were all pretty serious. I leaned against the back wall, resting my arms on the

shelf, and let the water just hit my lower back. I started my mantra once again. Contract. Dilate.

Open. Out. Contract. Dilate. Open. Out.

 

It was nice to be there, in the shower, alone. Laboring, just me and my baby. I wrapped my arms

around my belly, as I had so many showers before, and whispered to her. Now is the time, I told her.

Now is the time. We're going to do this together. We were co-conspirators in this gig. I knew that

she must be in pain with the contractions bearing down on her wee body, compressing her fragile head.

And scared, too. The entire world, literally, opening up to her had to be unnerving. Thrusting her out

of the only home she knew: the safe warm haven of my womb. I patted what I thought was her bum

as I built up to another contraction.

 

I relinquished my shower sanctuary and toweled off, not dressing right away to allow my body to cool

and bring my body temperature down. Mike handed me the phone and I dialed Tammi. We talked in

between contractions. I didn't want to drag her out in this treacherous weather, away from her family,

and the comforts of her own home, to come over and watch me labor for hours and hours. Surely there

had to be better television. Tammi, on the other hand, didn't want to come over and have me feel

pressured by her presence. She wanted to honor my birth and give me my space. Typical women.

We didn't want to hurt or disrespect each other. Mike took the phone and after talking to him,

Tammi made the decision to come.

 

A sense of relief came over me. I hadn't realized how much I really wanted her to come now,

even if she wound up sleeping on my couch. Any sense of pressure or tension melted down my back

and dripped down my limbs. I felt relaxed despite the contractions. I took my temperature again and

it showed a completely normal 98.6.

 

I came downstairs dressed and ready for the night. It was about 10:30. I sat down and posted a

quick message to my online sisters, letting them know that my midwife and The Apprentice were

on their way and that shortly I'd be holding my new baby girl. I clicked POST and went into the

family room to settle into a birthing spot. My choice was on the floor, leaning into my glider rocker.

 

I worked through a contraction, rocking back and forth into the seat of the rocker. When it released

me, I looked around and saw my mom and Mike in a flurry of activities, tying up loose ends, getting

things organized, expending nervous energy. I rocked my way through a couple more contractions

and began to pray the rosary in between.

Up until this point, I wasn't in unmanageable pain. For those of you reading this that have never

been in labor, you probably hear the word "pain" and think unbearable, hideous, screaming banshee

pain. But it isn't like that. At least for me. It'd been almost enjoyable. Exciting. I was having a baby

and these contractions were the proof (okay, not that I really needed proof given the belly I was

sporting, but you know what I mean). It was a slow build, up to this point. And this is the point at

which things got hard, really damn hard.

 

I called out to Mike and like any husband when his wife is in labor, he raced nervously to my side

in seconds. nother contraction hit me and I instantly was transported into my own world -- that crazy

labor land where pain is the focus and thoughts the distraction. Where all that is going on around you

is plainly visible, but easily unseen. Where your inner voice is sane and reasonable, but your spoken

words are unintelligible and irrational. Labor land is really like no other. It is all fuzzy with crystals of

clarity. It is forgettable while spiked with fleeting and often indifferent moments seared into memory. It

is on a different plane entirely. I felt myself diving down, surfing toward, settling into that plane more

and more with every contraction.

 

Between contractions, I rested on the rocking chair, back swayed, belly hanging low. I could feel the

baby moving, making her way down toward the exit -- the entrance to the world that awaits her arrival.

I could feel her laboring her own way out. Again I was reminded that we were doing this together, the

two of us, the baby and I. I silently prayed that she not be in too much pain, that she not be too afraid,

that she know she wasn't alone in this, that she journey safely from that world into this.

 

As I dealt with contractions and the building fear that things were progressing too quickly for the arrival

of the midwives, my mom set up the camera, helped me take off my jeans, and put down some waterproof

pads to protect the carpet. Mike stoked the fire and rolled up our "fancy" Turkish rug from Korea. They

each took turns coming by during contractions to rub balls on my back (tennis balls! get your minds out

of the gutter for a moment, people!). My dad came by a couple of times before deciding to hightail it into

the basement with a book.

 

I repeatedly asked when Tammi would be arriving. Mike and my mom continued their whispering while

sounding completely calm and reassuring when talking to me. I've since learned that at this time my mom,

in a state of panic, thinking that she would have to catch the baby, took off all her rings. I'm not sure why.

Perhaps she thought that she would have to reach up and pull the baby out, inadvertently losing her rings

forever to the deep caverns of my reproductive organs. I guess even grannies do crazy things in the throws

of labor.

 

By the next time I cried out the woeful tale of my missing midwives, they were both pulling up into the

driveway, sans lattes. They hadn't stopped anywhere, coming straight to me, through the driving ice and

treacherous road slicks. They were brought to me, safely and soundly. Again, I felt the tension melt down,

relief pouring

through me. It couldn't be long at all now. With the midwives in attendance, I'd be pushing that wee one out

and be done with the misery of labor. Or so was my thinking... in labor land.

 

I worked through a few contractions standing up, my back swayed, supported by Mike, my head crooked

backwards around his shoulder. This would be my labor stance, either standing or kneeling, for the remaining duration of my labor. Despite Mike's own back problems, he was a great pillar of support. I leaned back on

him, pushing hard against him. He stood strong and tall, at times holding me up as my legs buckled under me.

He tirelessly cheered me on.

 

At one point in between contractions, I tried to feel inside to determine how far along I was, how much further

I had to go. My spelunkering turned up nothing. I couldn't feel a thing besides mush. It felt like the insides of

an overripe pumpkin, only warmer. Nothing that would give me any indication of impending birth. I laid down

so Tammi could cop a feel. She merrily announced I was just about completely done (as I’d been saying all

along, “I’m done. I’m done. I’m done.”). And there was much rejoicing. Additionally, she reported that my

water bag was bulging.

 

It was only a handful of contractions later that my water broke on its own. Nice and clear and beautiful.

A relief for me. Not just from the physical pressure I was feeling, but that the baby seemed to be handling

labor well and was healthy. Since she was a week past her due date (and by my inner clock, much later

than that even), I was a bit concerned about meconium in the amniotic fluid.

 

I was now at the pushing stage of labor. The pain was manageable. Pushing, while not exactly pleasurable,

is a pain that feels productive. It has a point that is tangible at that very moment. It is exhausting, but it is exhilarating as well. I was feeling a sharp, intense pain. Gone was the pressure and the horrible, evil

spinal flames. Despite the poop, this was the good part.

 

"She's coming," I whispered and gulped in a big breath. "Go get Roman."

My mom, followed by a happily skipping, totally delighted Reilly Kate, who, by the way, had been right up

next to the midwife with a flashlight pointed at my yoni try to catch a glimpse of her sister’s emerging head,

ran upstairs to retrieve the boy.

 

I heard Tammi ask Mike if he wanted to catch the baby. I had hoped that he would. What a story that would

have made! But he told her he just wasn't ready for that. Perhaps it was the poop that scared him off. Honestly, though, I was surprised at how well he was coping. For a Nervous Ned like he to be actually enjoying the

homebirth of his third child was impressive.  With Roman downstairs, fully awake, happy and excited, I

started pushing in earnest. I knew we had reached that point at which it was all me. If I put my everything into

it, I’d be holding my newest baby within minutes. So I pushed. And pushed. And breathed and pushed.

 

Compared to my two previous, hospital bed deliveries, this pushing was nothing.  After just a couple of minutes

her head popped completely out. I held my hand down there, rubbing the top of her head as she lingered

between worlds – the born and the unborn. Touching the open air, but not yet breathing. Still yet a part of me,

but partly her own person. Those moments, those scant few moments, when the baby is not quite born, but 

I  can feel the head and touch the nose, those moments are pure magic. There is nothing, absolutely nothing

that can compare. To reach down to such a private and personal part of my body and feel another, whole

person emerging… it defies description. Words are worthless, really.

 

I would have liked for that moment to last longer. Tammi, too, wanted that moment to last. She asked that

I ease the baby’s shoulders out to protect my perineum.“Gently, gently breathe her out, okay,” she suggested.

But I feared the shoulders. I feared if I rested for too long, her shoulders would settle into my pelvis and become lodged there. I knew this was going to be a big baby. All I had to do was see the shock and horror in the eyes

of my fellow mall walkers to know that I was beyond the realm of normal pregnant woman large. I’m sure

people thought I was with children, carrying around a small litter. My waist came damn close to 52” and my weight… ha! Let’s just say it was… ummm… up there. So this coupled with the fact that the baby was a

week late, I knew she was going to be big.

 

“Here she comes,” said The Apprentice. “Catch her, Heather.”

 

But I didn’t. I couldn’t. I just couldn’t get my hands down there quick enough. Lori, The Apprentice, had a good

hold of her, though. I heard something slap the floor (most likely her feet since she was so dang long) and the

baby was crying before she even made it to my arms. Within a fraction of a second she was in my arms, screaming, and turning a beautiful pink color. I could tell right away she was a big, big girl. She was soft and

wet and warm and lovely.

 

“BAY-BAY!!” Roman screamed. Mke was laughing, a teary, emotional, hearty laugh. "Welcome,” he said. “Welcome. Happy St. Valentine’s Day.” “Hi baby sister,” Reilly Kate greeted the baby. “Mama, can I touch

her?”

 

After a few minutes I passed the placenta which was still attached to the baby. We had decided to delay

cutting the cord until it stopped pulsating to allow all that rich umbilical blood to make it’s way into Irina. Irina

and I eventually moved over to rest on the futon where she curled into my lap. Roman took one look at the

cord and said, “Me cut that cord.” And so he did. Along with Reilly Kate and guided by Mike. The three of

them cut the cord, severing Irina from me to attach her to the rest of our ohana (family). It was the first time

in three births that I got emotionally teary. Such a blessing she was born into. Such a blessing she is.

 

My dad came up from his hiding place in the basement to meet his newest grandbaby. Smitten with her

at first sight, he was. My mom sat happily snapping pictures and juggling the other kids. Mike stoked the

fire and made a few phone calls to announce Irina’s arrival. Being the internet geek that I am, I had the laptop brought over to me so I could do my own announcing. And we all relaxed, soaking in the afterbirth glow.

 

The midwives did some measuring. As The Apprentice weighed the baby, I heard talk between Tammi and her.

 

“10…10…” is what I heard. “10…”

 

“So what is it? Ten even?” I inquired.

 

“No,” said Tammi stifling a laugh. “10-10. Ten pounds, ten ounces.”

 

I just about fell out of the futon from the shock. She was a much,

much bigger baby than anyone expected. In fact, she is the

biggest baby Tammi has delivered to date. I don’t think that’s

a record she’ll be breaking any time soon, either. Almost 11 pounds

is about as big as a baby can get without making the evening news.

And thank God we didn't make the news. I always feel sorry for

 those poor women who have to be interviewed when looking the

worst they've ever looked.

 

About an hour or so after she was born, Irina and I went upstairs.

My mom had drawn us a nice warm bath with steeped herbs

specifically for post partum. It was heavenly. The baby and I

got to relax and wash up while everyone else in the house

 cleaned up after the mess we'd made. As we bathed, Irina

 looked into my eyes with those wise, aged eyes that newborns possess. We all put our jammies on and Mike and I signed a

 few papers for the midwives. The older kids went to their beds, exhausted, but with the nervous energy of a Christmas Eve.

 My mom and dad hunkered down in their bed in the basement -- conveniently out of earshot of any midnight wailing. The midwives departed, deciding to brave the ice slicked roads. Thankfully, they safely made their way home. And all was

right with the world. Our first night of slumber and nursing and discovery lay ahead. Our first night with our very

own Valentine.

 

And that is the short story of the birth of Irina Kealoha. Our Peace and Love baby.